Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage

You can walk into any bookstore and find dozens, even hundreds of marriage help books. Sure, they have good advice and insight, but do you really need to shell out big bucks to read about how to help/strengthen/save your marriage? I don't necessarily think so. I recently spent an afternoon with a neighbor and fellow church member who had been married for nearly 65 years; she lost her husband to renal failure in August. Talking with her that afternoon gave me some clues and ideas to try out on my marriage. My husband and I are happily married, but surely it could be happier? I spent 2 weeks putting in to practice what Grandma L and I talked about and added a few ideas along the way.

1. Say I love you everyday. Sounds simple enough, and you may quite possibly already do that. But when you say that do you *mean* it or are you saying it automatically ("k. love you bye" when hanging up the cell phone)? Take a minute to tell your spouse I love you and really mean it.

2. Show them you love them. You've heard it before, actions speak louder than words. Do something nice for your spouse. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant. I simply woke up 15 minutes earlier and packed my husband's lunch for work or made him his favorite dinner. I even mowed the lawn for him.

3. Pray for your spouse. I never really thought alot into this. I prayed for my family and my daughter, situations, etc but I don't know that I specifically prayed for Matt. It kind of took me aback. How could I *not* be praying for my husband? Pray for him spiritually, physically and emotionally.

4. Pray for your marriage. In order for your marriage to "grow" you need to take care of it, much like a plant. You need to feed it, weed it and take care of it. Prayer is like MiracleGro for your marriage. All of these other components nourish and strengthen it, but prayer gives it the kick in the butt it needs to flourish. Pray that your marriage will grow stronger, that you and your spouse can be free to serve, love and honor each other.

5. Daily devotions. Literally 10 minutes together everyday reading the Bible and praying together will make a huge difference. That 10 minutes may be the only time you have with each other in a day, cherish it and use it wisely. What better way than with talking to God and praying for your marriage?

6. Weekly meetings. Sounds weird, I know. It's something my husband and I just recently implemented. One night a week (usually Sunday) we sit down and discuss weekly goals, finances, and any other things that may be going on. Some goals should be short term and attainable. This will make you feel like you've accomplished something and give you the drive to accomplish long term goals. Some of our goals are as simple as getting the laundry finished by Thursday so we can spend Friday evening with family. One of our long term goals is to pay off our credit card; a short term goal related to this is not eating out that week and putting the money we saved towards the credit card. That brings up finances, keeping each other aware of the situation and equally accountable will decrease a lot of stress and arguments.

7. HAVE FUN. How many weeks have gone by since you and your spouse went to a movie, went on a hike or just cuddled on the couch and watched TV together? You don't have to spend money, but spending time with each other doing something enjoyable will get your minds off everyday stressors and reconnect you with your spouse.

8. Grandma L didn't give me this idea, but I'm adding it to this list. MAKE LOVE. Yep, I said it. Make love. I didn't say have sex. Sex takes 2 minutes and doesn't even have to mean anything. Make love with your spouse. Connecting intimately will go miles in strengthening your marriage. It relieves stress, gets you in tune with your spouse and is something that only YOU share with your spouse. Plus, it's just plain fun (see number 7)!